Giving And Receiving Feedback: Are we doing it right?
By Leonard Kok
What If The Person Is Angry?
Sometimes, if the person is not progressing well they become angry (as much with themselves as with you). The following provides some guidelines:
- Describe, don't accuse. Use active listening to defuse the emotion in the situation. Make sure you are communicating a feeling rather than blaming
- Take a joint problem solving approach. Use paraphrasing and open ended questions
What If You Are On The Receiving End?
Practise the 3As
Awareness |
Take all criticism as "legitimate" and then move to assess its merit. |
Assessment |
Of whether the criticism is really valid or not.
To determine if criticism is valid, you should ask:
- Is this something I have heard before from others?
- Is the critic an expert in this field?
- Does the critic have reasonable standards?
- Is the criticism really about me, or is the critic upset about something else and taking it out on me?
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Action |
3 Decide what you want to do about the criticism. |
In Conclusion:
A nice model to use for providing feedback that enables the person or team to blossom and grow is the Hamburger Principle. A Basic hamburger has 3 layers. So, following the 3-layer principle, We have
With the above model, feedback will be more constructive as it provides avenues for growth and development.
References:
http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/growth/feedback.html
http://www.mgt-online.com/AHRI/trial/snap/sect2/sect2b.html
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