Giving And Receiving Feedback: Are we doing it right?
By Leonard Kok

All of us have, at one time or another, given or received feedback for some assignment or job done. Look at the pictures below. They are labelled (A) to (H) for easy reference. Was/Is your situation very similar to what is depicted? You might even want to form a small group to discuss the pictures (and perhaps have a good laugh over them!)

If you are in small groups, you may want to share:

(a)Which picture best described the situation(s) where you received or gave feedback.

(b) Why did you feel that way?

Picture A	Picture B
Picture C	Picture D
Picture E	Picture F
Picture G	Picture H

Feedback is an appraisal given to the person or team after an action is executed. Many people have many labels for it but the basic purpose of giving feedback is mainly to provide timely response so that improvement in future scenarios will be made possible. All organisations have some kind of system and structure to deliver feedback to the person(s) involved for formative, summative and incentive-related purposes.
In what way do we deliver and give feedback? Where and when do we provide feedback and how do we do it in such a way which promotes professional and even personal growth?
Read on.

Basic Guidelines for Giving Feedback

McGill and Beatty (in "Action learning: A practitioner’s guide", London: Kogan Page, 1994, p. 159-163) provide useful suggestions about giving effective feedback:

1. Clarity -- Be clear about what you want to say.

2. Emphasize the positive -- This isn’t being collusive in the person's dilemma.

3. Be specific -- Avoid general comments and clarify pronouns such as “it,” “that,” etc.

4. Focus on behaviour rather than the person.

5. Refer to behaviour that can be changed.

6. Be descriptive rather than evaluative.

7. Own the feedback -- Use ‘I’ statements.

8. Generalizations -- Notice “all,” “never,” “always,” etc., and ask to get more specificity -- often these words are arbitrary limits on behaviour.

9. Be very careful with advice -- People rarely struggle with an issue because of the lack of some specific piece of information; often, the best help is helping the person to come to a better understanding of their issue, how it developed, and how they can identify actions to address the issue more effectively.

When Not To Give Feedback
Constructive feedback should not be used under three conditions:

1. When the employee cannot take any action on the constructive feedback. The problem is not within his or her power to change.

2. When the person giving the constructive feedback is overstressed or has a limited amount of time. Coaching sessions demand time and calm. Once a manager loses his or her temper, the feedback loses its impact because the person receiving the feedback has shut down and is no longer listening.

3. When the focus is on the person, not the person’s behaviour or performance. In giving constructive feedback, out intention should be to modify the individual’s performance or behaviour. It’s a big mistake to focus on trying to change someone’s personality.

What If The Feedback Is Negative?
If you have to give negative feedback, be particularly careful (but don't have to avoid it).

1.Avoid giving negative feedback in public. It is a good rule to criticise in private, praise in public

2. Avoid historical references. Present information on "here and now" as opposed to "there and then"

3. Avoid undue emotion - don't lose your cool or patience - over reacting will produce defensiveness. Talk when you are calm and objective

Try this Template!

If a person (could be your co-worker, your subordinate, your partner, or even you) is not doing well, how should the person be informed? Try this:

"Hi _________________ (fill in the person’s name), When you do this ________________" (specify the behaviour)

"It is a problem because ________________" (specify how the problem is affecting you/the team )

"Next time ________________" (specify what you want the person/team to do).